Monday, September 23, 2013
I'm sure I will got some flak about this blog post, but this topic has been on my mind for a long time and I want it to address it.
I want to say though, that this is in no way a post to attack or criticize anyone. I am aware that what I'm trying to avoid is something most of the people I know already do. Please, do not take personal offense.
When I was pregnant with Luka, I bombarded Ronald with loads of hypothetical questions.
What will he eat, natural or processed?
What kind of clothing will he wear, comfy or trendy?
What kind of value will we teach him?
The list went on and on, but as first time parents, I wanted to make sure that we were both on the same page when it came to raising our child.
One of the most important questions that I asked him was in regards to technology.
Now, as a lot of my family and friends know, I love technology. I love my computer, and my e-reader, and my cell-phone, and did I mention all of our game consoles?
We breathe technology, we like to be current and we like to use it.
Now, how do we apply or not apply this to our child?
It was tricky to think about how we would limit or allow the use of technology for our son in a time where everything seems to revolve around it.
One thing was clear, we wanted Luka to enjoy his early years with the most simplest objects available. We wanted him to use his imagination. Did technology have a role there? It could, but how much is enough and where do you draw the line?
First off, we decided that video games for him were banned. No, no kiddy video games at all. They were completely banned, he would not play any type of video games until he was an older child. Toddler years are for coloring, finger-painting and building blocks.
Secondly, there would be no use of tablets. No toddler apps on my kindle thank you very much.
Ok, I kind of cheated there. I have been known to allow him to swipe his little finger across my tablet screen to help kill a zombie, but he does not get tablet time. None at all.
Thirdly, computers will be allowed, but only at a certain age.
What's that age? I have no idea.
As with everything related to our child, we wanted to follow his cues. Whenever we see signs of him being ready, we will start teaching him about computers and only as an educational portal. No video-games, no youtube videos, none of that.
Yes, I know, it seems a bit harsh, specially in an era where everything seems to be run by technology. Everywhere you turn someone is using a tablet, or a smart phone or a portable computer. But we believe that there is a time for everything.
I cringe when I see little 8 year olds with iPhones. I mean seriously? I get that you want to keep in touch with your child, but an iPhones?
I grit my teeth when I see 4 and 5 year olds with iPads.
I know, I know, they're not my kids, I shouldn't care, but I do.
Of course, we all have different styles of parenting and what works for me does not mean it will work for others.
I get that is very convenient to hand a child a tablet when they are being rowdy at the dentist's waiting room. We would do anything to just get them to shut up and sit down!
I also understand that finger-painting is just so messy, why not use an app to do it? I get it I do.
I also sympathize when I hear parents saying "but all the other kids have it, why not mine?"
I got you my friend, I truly understand.
I just feel like kids are little for such a short amount of time. The first few years of their lives are crucial to their development. I chose to be involved in my child's learning instead of letting a machine do it for me.
I choose to line the floor with newspapers and let him water-color to his heart's content.
Yes, clean-up was messy, and no I did not enjoy it one bit, but I felt that he needs to learn to get messy, so I let him.
Do I like seeing my living-room floor plagued with toy cars, blocks, puzzles and balls all over?
HECK NO!
When people come visit me they think I'm a slob.
To be honest, I probably am, but that was my child at play and he had a blast. No fancy gadgets required.
We did let ourselves go with the tv though. It was too easy to fall into that trap.
We allow tv time but it is very controlled.
He will only watch things geared to his age.
I get that we won't be able to control every minute of his time. He goes to visit his grand-parents often and I know he's exposed to things that we wouldn't allow at home.
Now that he's in school, he's even more exposed to different types of people. Kids whose parents do allow them the use of their phones and tablets. My kid will wonder why he doesn't have those same privileges.
We will stick to ours guns regardless. We want him to have a simple childhood.
There will be a time when he will ask us for a tablet perhaps.
Will we give him one?
It depends. If he's at an age where he shows responsibility for taking care of things and an understanding that this is a privilege and not a right, then yes, of course we will.
Right now, at four years old, he is very content with his toy trains and his puzzles.
He enjoys books, the physical ones, and has yet to complain that they do not narrate on their own.
Yes, it seems a bit unrealistic, but as parents, we are trying our best to raise a child with not only good values, but life skills.
We want him to be social in person, over the phone, and in writing without having to resort to social media sites.
We want him to be able to carry a conversation with another human being without feeling shy because he wasn't exposed to human interaction enough.
We also want him to pick going out to play ball instead of staying in and playing video-games in his free time.
I feel like by starting now with these guidelines will set the path to what we want him to accomplish in the future.
We'll see how it turns out, but for now, NO TO TECHNOLOGY!
Monday, September 9, 2013
It finally happened.
The day I was dreading the most.
You see, I knew it was coming. I wasn't so naive to think that it would never come. I just thought I had a little more time you know?
In my dreams, I envisioned a little boy who would never want to leave my side. I would be his teacher, his guide, and he would be a total momma's boy!
But nooooooooo! This little devil had other plans.
He had decided, long before I was ready, that he wanted to go to school.
The conversation went a little like this a few months ago:
"Jeannette, when I go to school?"
"School? Why do you want to go to school?"
"I want to learn, and raise my hand and say me me me me!"
And that was it guys! Right then and there he decided that he was ready to go school, even if I wasn't.
So we signed him up, we mentally prepared him (and me) for this huge milestone.
The day finally arrived and it did not go like I expected.
There were tears, OMG, there were tons of tears! A little tantrum here, a mini nervous breakdown there...
Oh, Luka was fine, all of that happened to me, not him!
He was as happy as ever. Very excited and relaxed.
I on the other hand was breaking down inside.
How could this be? Where did these four years go? It cannot be! My little boy is growing up!
I had a plan all set out though. We would take him to school and I would stay behind with him to keep him company. After all, he has never been in daycare nor does he know about babysitters. This was going to be his first time being without his parents and in the care of a total stranger.
Nope!
The little jerk didn't even care about me!
He went on his merry way, making friends, having fun and all that jazz.
Ronald and I thought about leaving, but I wanted to give Luka a last chance to beg me to stay.
I go up to him and say "Bubba, dada and I are going shopping ok? You stay here, we'll be right back."
"Ok", he said
Ok?
JUST OK?
Dammit, I left the traitor there and went shopping with my husband.
So much for moral support!
Anyway, we came back a few hours later to pick him up. He was lined up with the rest of his classmates waiting to be picked up.
He looked so happy!
Dammit!
Traitor, traitor I said!
All in all, I'm so proud of him. There were two other kids who cried for ages and eventually left with their parents. Luka didn't even show any signs of sadness.
He had fun and made new friends.
He told us all about his day. He colored, they had story time, they had clean-up time and snack time.
He ate "LOTSA cookies" and regular milk and oh, let's not forget the apple.
When we were finally home and he was playing with his toys, I caught a little snippet of a song he made up.
It went something like this:
"Miss Briton, Miss Briton, Miss Briton is a good teacher....She taught us coloring, she made us clean-up. She's a good teacher la la la."
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