Nachi's pointless rants and recollections

You know that saying that goes, "Be careful what you wish for?"

Well right now I feel like I might be getting what I wished for, but at a costly price.

When I was pregnant with Luka, I wished so hard he was a girl. Alas, the universe wanted to give me a little boy instead of a girl and I accepted it with grace.
He is the love of my life and even though he has dangly bits instead of organs tucked in, I think he is pure perfection.
Way before we had any kids though, I talked to Ronald about wanting to have four children. The first two could be biological, the last two could be adopted later on in life.
When Luka was born, I was in such a state of "high" that I screamed to the heavens I would have another as soon as I could.
Now that I am pregnant, I'm really regretting being that confident about carrying another child.

Yes, I am pregnant again and I have no idea why I decided to put myself through such torture.
Let me backtrack a little and give you some info on what I mean.
When I was pregnant with Luka, I had the regular morning sickness. I felt a bit nauseous, I threw up a few times but it was nothing too bad. My second trimester was pure joy, I started to sport a beautiful bump, morning sickness was all but gone and it was just beautiful to be pregnant. The third trimester was very tiring, and that last month seemed to drag on forever, but still, I was very happy.

Currently, I am 12 weeks pregnant and I feel like shit!
Yes, I said it, I feel like SHIT!
I've gotten very acquainted with my toilet bowl. I can tell you the exact shade of porcelain white it is, I can point exactly how many millimeters from hinge to hinge is the length of the top of the cover. I can tell you how many seconds it takes for the tank to fill up after I have flushed it. I can also tell you that we've been running out of toilet paper faster than when Luka was being potty trained.
Before the morning sickness, Luka got really worried when I darted to the bathroom. He would sit outside of the door waiting for me to finish, promptly after he would knock, come in and rub my head until I could finally speak.
I've made so many "darting trips" lately that he no longer cares. I could be crawling, bumping my way into the bathroom, probably knocking a few things down, and he doesn't even care anymore.
I can't blame him though, I've been making my special trips 4-5 times a day on average.

When I tell this to my friends and co-workers they tell me, "Oh, it must me a girl!"
I then think to myself, FML!
If this is what it takes to have a girl, then someone kick me in the head for wishing for a girl in the first place!
Now, now, don't get touchy just yet. I know I have nobody to blame but myself (and Ronald.)
I am really happy that I will be having another little one, but right now I enforce my right to be pissed.
Yes, I am pissed!
There are times I want to kick my husband right in the groin for getting me pregnant. (haha, it's not like he forced me into it.)
He has learned to stay away from me most of the time, but I know he is suffering in his own way too.
Of course he is not suffering as much as me and sometimes I wish he could go through what I'm going through, but I know he is in his own kind of hell right now which makes me feel a bit better.

Any who!
This blog is supposed to be about my feelings, so there they are, I am pissed, I am tired, I am mentally and physically exhausted and I am just waiting for all of this nastiness to go away so I can finally enjoy this pregnancy.

Now, my advice to all of you ladies out there right now, especially the younger ones (I am looking at you naughty teenagers who think they know better) is:
DO NOT GET PREGNANT, IT'S A TRAP!