Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Saturday, July 27, 2013
Luka has recently turned four years old.
In the days leading up to his birthday, I started to think about all the decisions I made as a parent even before he was born. Every parent wants the best for their children. For some that means buying them everything they need and want, for others it means teaching them values, and for others it means putting them in the best schools and programs. Whatever it is, we all want to give them the very best, and that's exactly what we wanted for our son.
So, what is it that I wanted for him?
I wanted for him to grow up surrounded by love. I wanted him to look back 30 years from now and remember that his parents loved him no matter what. I wanted him to remember a happy childhood, a stable home no matter how small, and to be proud of the person he turned out to be.
I always talk about how proud I am of him. He is a caring boy, he shows affection, and he is compassionate. These are very good qualities to have, but seeing them on a four year old, my four year old, is even more amazing to me. I feel like every single decision we've made towards raising him has molded him into the little person he is today. Some may not agree with our approach, but everything we do for him is with love.
One of the biggest sacrifices we had to make to give him the best care in the world, was for me to stay home and raise him while my husband worked crazy hours to bring in extra income. I never thought I'd be a stay at home mom, but I did it, and I don't regret it. Sure it was hard, sure I wanted to just go out and be me without having to care for someone else, but this is how it had to be. My husband comes from work tired as heck. He barely sleeps, and there's little time to spend with us, but he's doing his part to provide for us. This allows me the freedom to care for and teach my child as much as I can. It's hard, but it's what we chose.
As a result, I look back into the four years that have passed and I am so proud of us as a family. I couldn't have wished for a more perfect little boy. He makes my heart melt with everything he says. Sure he drives me nuts on more than one occasion. I want to hang him by his feet sometimes. But regardless, he is a representation of our hard work. We did this for him and as a result, we have raised a wonderful son.
Parenting isn't easy. Boy, it's the hardest thing I've ever done in my life, but it is so rewarding.
Now we have a little girl who is soon to arrive, and I have the same dreams and expectations for her.
I'm not too worried though. We have a special little boy whom she can look up to and learn from.
Life is good. No regrets.
In the days leading up to his birthday, I started to think about all the decisions I made as a parent even before he was born. Every parent wants the best for their children. For some that means buying them everything they need and want, for others it means teaching them values, and for others it means putting them in the best schools and programs. Whatever it is, we all want to give them the very best, and that's exactly what we wanted for our son.
So, what is it that I wanted for him?
I wanted for him to grow up surrounded by love. I wanted him to look back 30 years from now and remember that his parents loved him no matter what. I wanted him to remember a happy childhood, a stable home no matter how small, and to be proud of the person he turned out to be.
I always talk about how proud I am of him. He is a caring boy, he shows affection, and he is compassionate. These are very good qualities to have, but seeing them on a four year old, my four year old, is even more amazing to me. I feel like every single decision we've made towards raising him has molded him into the little person he is today. Some may not agree with our approach, but everything we do for him is with love.
One of the biggest sacrifices we had to make to give him the best care in the world, was for me to stay home and raise him while my husband worked crazy hours to bring in extra income. I never thought I'd be a stay at home mom, but I did it, and I don't regret it. Sure it was hard, sure I wanted to just go out and be me without having to care for someone else, but this is how it had to be. My husband comes from work tired as heck. He barely sleeps, and there's little time to spend with us, but he's doing his part to provide for us. This allows me the freedom to care for and teach my child as much as I can. It's hard, but it's what we chose.
As a result, I look back into the four years that have passed and I am so proud of us as a family. I couldn't have wished for a more perfect little boy. He makes my heart melt with everything he says. Sure he drives me nuts on more than one occasion. I want to hang him by his feet sometimes. But regardless, he is a representation of our hard work. We did this for him and as a result, we have raised a wonderful son.
Parenting isn't easy. Boy, it's the hardest thing I've ever done in my life, but it is so rewarding.
Now we have a little girl who is soon to arrive, and I have the same dreams and expectations for her.
I'm not too worried though. We have a special little boy whom she can look up to and learn from.
Life is good. No regrets.
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Tuesday, October 9, 2012
I've been neglecting this blog I hate it. I had a goal to post as often as I could on my journey through motherhood and my life. Sadly, lately, it's been a struggle. Not because I didn't have time, or because I didn't have the motivation. It was because I just didn't have anything to say. Many tings have happened since I last posted. For one, I went to Peru again this year with my son, my little brother in law and his best friend. It was very hard for me at first, I got home-sick almost immediately. I dreaded being away from home, from my husband, and my high-speed internet. The days went by and all I did was sleep, eat, sleep some more, and go shopping for some necessities. I was sinking into a depressive state and I wasn't liking it. Something happened though around the second week, I got up from the bed one day and looked at my mother, I really looked at her and it hit me. This person gave me life, this person missed out on so much of my life, and here I was, for just a few weeks spending my time sleeping instead of giving her a little of that time. As much as it pained me, I decided to bring some of my walls down and let her in again. I started to bond with her. I knew it would bite me in the ass afterwards, because I had to leave her in a few weeks, and it would be heart-break all over again. But how could I deny her my love and attention? I couldn't. So we bonded, and we bonded some more. This trip, unlike the others before, was about finding myself within my family. I felt so out of touch with them that I made it a point to not care about it. I would endure seeing them for a few weeks every few years and then come back to my normal life. This time I changed things up, and it gave me great joy. It help me understand more things about myself and why I am the way I am. Saying goodbye was painful though. I broke down in the airport, broke down like only a little girl could when saying goodbye to her mother. I was nine years old all over again trying to understand why I needed to be apart from my mother. It was horrible! Alas, I left her, with tears in my eyes, but with a new feeling inside. I no longer just appreciated my mother, I felt the fire of love once again burning nice and strong. Fast forward a few weeks to today and I find myself back in school. I finally did it, I decided to go back to college. It was a long time coming and I'm glad I did. I have to tell you though, I was struggling. Getting back to after so many years of absence is hardcore. Top that with the fact that I got so sick I was hospitalized, didn't help. I got so behind on my homework (still am). But I'm not giving up, I am finishing this bitch and getting a degree when I'm done. So the point of this post is I guess, I'm finding myself again. Being close to family, doing things for myself instead of doing it for others, is helping me find Jeannette the individual. It's still a work in progress, I'm not me completely yet, but I'm getting there. It's scary though, I've been Luka's mom for so long, it's a like a security blanket. As long as I'm Luka's mom, I don't have to do anything for me, I'm always busy being a mom. But now that I'm doing things that are just for me, it's like getting back on the saddle after a nasty fall. What if I fall again? Well, I'm just gonna have to try again right?
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