Wednesday, October 7, 2009
"Pregnancy is a beautiful thing" people tell you.
"It is a miracle to bring a child into this world" they insist.
"You will wonder how you ever lived before you were a mother" they preach.
Sure! Pregnancy is all those things, but what they forget to tell you that all that comes with a price.
Our bodies endure so many changes during pregnancy, it is raging with hormones that unbalance the formerly balanced way of our mechanism. How does this translate into our everyday lives? We get queasy and naturally we puke our hearts out!
My “queasiness” lasted so long and it was so severe that I felt ready to give up. I wanted not be pregnant. People around me told me “How are you going to endure the rest of pregnancy and labor if you can’t even put up with this.” I don’t know? All that mattered to me at that time was stopping the unpleasant feelings.
I cried so much during that time, in part it was due to the mood swings and in part it was due to fear. Fear of not living up to the kind of parent I wanted to be. Was I going to make mistakes? Even more, was I going to make the same mistakes that were made with me? So all sorts of thoughts went through my mind causing me great fear.
Was I afraid of giving birth? Surprisingly, no. It wouldn’t help me to be scared.
As I was nearing the end of pregnancy, I got more anxious. I wanted to meet my baby and take care of him. I wanted to see his face, his hands, I wanted to stroke his head. I just wanted to hold my little one and show him how beautiful life could be.
My brother once told me “It’s going to hurt you know!” I got mad at him, how in the world can he know how much it hurts? Yes of course he was witnessed how much it hurts when his kids were born, but he hasn’t experienced it. I don’t know if he was trying to scare me or prepare me. It didn’t matter though, I still wasn’t scared. Our bodies are designed for this, they are capable of withstanding the pain and live to tell the tale. I wasn’t scared, but not being scared is not something that comes easy. I understand that we as human beings are scared of the unknown, we are scared of finding ourselves in situations where we lose control. I told myself that I wasn’t going to find myself in that position, I wanted to be prepared so I fed my mind with all sorts of information. I had help too, my family helped, my doctor helped, my home care nurse helped, I even had help from the internet. I read books and stories from other expecting mothers like myself. I found that we all shared some of the same fears and doubts.
My due date was getting close, it was getting harder to walk around so I stayed home most of the time. People kept telling me I should walk to make things happen faster. Why would I want to do that? I didn't feel like rushing my baby, he would come whenever he felt like it.
I went to the hospital three times before being admitted, and all three times I thought it was time because of the pain I was feeling. All three times I was sent home because I wasn't ready yet.
Finally, one night after being in early labor for five days my water broke. It was weird, I had a strong contraction and I thought I had peed myself. Ha!
Turns out it was my water, so I went to the hospital and sure enough I was in active labor.
They finally admitted me and I was so excited. The only problem was that my contractions weren't regular at all and I wasn't progressing as I should have.
I was given Pitocin to speed things up and it worked, my contractions were closer and stronger. There was a problem though, my baby wasn't very appreciative of it and decided it was too much for him resulting in a scary drop of his heart rate.
What a scary feeling, nurses rushed to my side faster than lightning, I was given oxygen and put on my side. Eventually they stopped the Pitocin for a little while and all was back to normal.
Now let me tell you, the pain those contractions cause: OMG!
They are no joke. Yes it was painful, so much so that I cried for help. I was trying to be brave and I told myself I would endure as much as I could but it was time for the heavenly epidural.
Yes, I said heavenly. I swear I would have proposed to the anesthesiologist right then and there if I wasn't already in a relationship.
All in all it went great. I was in labor for about 18 hours but those 18 hours were worth it.
On july 21st, 2009 I gave birth to a healthy 9lb 6oz baby. So yes ladies and gentlemen, being pregnant is not easy but it does not come unrewarded. The joy we women get to experience, the wonder of being able to produce life, that is something nobody else but us get the privilege to experience.
"It is a miracle to bring a child into this world" they insist.
"You will wonder how you ever lived before you were a mother" they preach.
Sure! Pregnancy is all those things, but what they forget to tell you that all that comes with a price.
Our bodies endure so many changes during pregnancy, it is raging with hormones that unbalance the formerly balanced way of our mechanism. How does this translate into our everyday lives? We get queasy and naturally we puke our hearts out!
My “queasiness” lasted so long and it was so severe that I felt ready to give up. I wanted not be pregnant. People around me told me “How are you going to endure the rest of pregnancy and labor if you can’t even put up with this.” I don’t know? All that mattered to me at that time was stopping the unpleasant feelings.
I cried so much during that time, in part it was due to the mood swings and in part it was due to fear. Fear of not living up to the kind of parent I wanted to be. Was I going to make mistakes? Even more, was I going to make the same mistakes that were made with me? So all sorts of thoughts went through my mind causing me great fear.
Was I afraid of giving birth? Surprisingly, no. It wouldn’t help me to be scared.
As I was nearing the end of pregnancy, I got more anxious. I wanted to meet my baby and take care of him. I wanted to see his face, his hands, I wanted to stroke his head. I just wanted to hold my little one and show him how beautiful life could be.
My brother once told me “It’s going to hurt you know!” I got mad at him, how in the world can he know how much it hurts? Yes of course he was witnessed how much it hurts when his kids were born, but he hasn’t experienced it. I don’t know if he was trying to scare me or prepare me. It didn’t matter though, I still wasn’t scared. Our bodies are designed for this, they are capable of withstanding the pain and live to tell the tale. I wasn’t scared, but not being scared is not something that comes easy. I understand that we as human beings are scared of the unknown, we are scared of finding ourselves in situations where we lose control. I told myself that I wasn’t going to find myself in that position, I wanted to be prepared so I fed my mind with all sorts of information. I had help too, my family helped, my doctor helped, my home care nurse helped, I even had help from the internet. I read books and stories from other expecting mothers like myself. I found that we all shared some of the same fears and doubts.
My due date was getting close, it was getting harder to walk around so I stayed home most of the time. People kept telling me I should walk to make things happen faster. Why would I want to do that? I didn't feel like rushing my baby, he would come whenever he felt like it.
I went to the hospital three times before being admitted, and all three times I thought it was time because of the pain I was feeling. All three times I was sent home because I wasn't ready yet.
Finally, one night after being in early labor for five days my water broke. It was weird, I had a strong contraction and I thought I had peed myself. Ha!
Turns out it was my water, so I went to the hospital and sure enough I was in active labor.
They finally admitted me and I was so excited. The only problem was that my contractions weren't regular at all and I wasn't progressing as I should have.
I was given Pitocin to speed things up and it worked, my contractions were closer and stronger. There was a problem though, my baby wasn't very appreciative of it and decided it was too much for him resulting in a scary drop of his heart rate.
What a scary feeling, nurses rushed to my side faster than lightning, I was given oxygen and put on my side. Eventually they stopped the Pitocin for a little while and all was back to normal.
Now let me tell you, the pain those contractions cause: OMG!
They are no joke. Yes it was painful, so much so that I cried for help. I was trying to be brave and I told myself I would endure as much as I could but it was time for the heavenly epidural.
Yes, I said heavenly. I swear I would have proposed to the anesthesiologist right then and there if I wasn't already in a relationship.
All in all it went great. I was in labor for about 18 hours but those 18 hours were worth it.
On july 21st, 2009 I gave birth to a healthy 9lb 6oz baby. So yes ladies and gentlemen, being pregnant is not easy but it does not come unrewarded. The joy we women get to experience, the wonder of being able to produce life, that is something nobody else but us get the privilege to experience.
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