Monday, October 12, 2009
There is something most people don't know about me, it's very hard for me to get attached.
Let me rephrase that, I refuse to get attached for fear of being hurt.
Now we can all blame this on society or my daddy issues, but the truth is that, I'm not good with emotions.
Therefore, I'm very exclusive when it comes to my friends. Now this made sound like I'm full of myself, but I'm very picky, hence why my social live is almost non-existent and why this post today is particularly hard.
We met Stephanie a few months back. She is a nurse.
I've just had my first prenatal appointment and one of the staff at the clinic told me about this program targeted to first time mothers of low income status. The program involved a series of visits from a certified nurse who would come in and aide you when it came to pregnancy and the care of your newborn. I was skeptical and even though I told them I would try it out, I had made up my mind that I wouldn't do it.
I mean come on! Having a stranger come into my home to tell me what I was doing wrong or what I wasn't doing right didn't sound very appealing to me. Plus, I had seen this movie once about this visiting nurse who stole a lady's child after she drugged her, so I was scared lol.
They called me a few weeks after and explained the program to me, they said that they would send a nurse and that if I felt uncomfortable I could stop at any time. I thought about it and decided that one visit wouldn't hurt, plus it was free.
She called us and we set up an appointment. Ronald wasn't too pleased, he said it was a waste of time, I sort of agreed.
Stephanie came to our house, she was a very small pleasant lady. She explained what our visits would be like, she gave me some reading info and talked about my pregnancy. It was nice.
After she left, Ronald and I talked and we decided that this would be beneficial. She could be our in between doctor visits consultant, and we wouldn't feel so lost as first time parents if we had her around.
She came every week for a while, then every two weeks. Each time we would talk about the stages of pregnancy and the things I would be going through. She taught me so much, and for that I'm grateful, but it was more than that. She would also listen to me, about my life, about my goals, my dreams, my past, just my life. I felt important. Sure it was part of her job to make me feel important, but I truly believe in my heart that we were just important to her.
Time kept passing by and we kept getting closer to her. The once skeptical Ronald and Jeannette started to anxiously await her arrival like little kids waiting for their weekly trip to the candy store.
"Stephanie is coming today", I would say. "I know", Ronald would agree happily.
Luka was born and Stephanie was excited. When she got to see him for the first time it felt like she was a relative seeing her nephew or her god-son. It was beautiful.
Unfortunately good times sometimes come to an end and Stephanie will no longer be our home visiting nurse.
How? Why? Does it matter?
All I know is that I will no longer have those visits to look up to. I will no longer have that person to talk to about my silly accomplishments like when I decided to breastfeed my baby, or when I gave birth to him at 9lbs 6oz.
She celebrated every single one of those things and made me feel special.
Yes it's sad, it's like a part of our lives is coming to an end, but another is just beginning.
We gained a friend, a lifetime friend I hope.
This was decided long before she told us she would leave, we decided that once the program was over we would still keep her in our lives and in the life of our baby. We would invite her to birthday's outtings and anything else we could bring her along to.
So Stephanie, this post is dedicated to you, I know you're reading this, and I want you to know that you've got a special place in our hearts. I thank you deeply for teaching me and letting me teach you my own life lessons.
I dedicate this song to you.
It's called Jippy Jai. It talks about saying goodbye, but not for ever.
Lyrics in English
Why should we lose hope of seeing each other again,
Why should we lose hope of seeing each other again,
It's only a "see you later",
It's only a brief goodbye,
Goodbye, goodbye, I hope we meet again.
Singing hai, hai, hippi hippi hai
Singing hai, hai, hippi hippi hai
The light shines, the sun hides,
but the sun from the sky
will always shine
the warmth of our friendship.
It's only a "see you later",
It's only a brief goodbye,
Goodbye, goodbye, I hope we meet again.
Let me rephrase that, I refuse to get attached for fear of being hurt.
Now we can all blame this on society or my daddy issues, but the truth is that, I'm not good with emotions.
Therefore, I'm very exclusive when it comes to my friends. Now this made sound like I'm full of myself, but I'm very picky, hence why my social live is almost non-existent and why this post today is particularly hard.
We met Stephanie a few months back. She is a nurse.
I've just had my first prenatal appointment and one of the staff at the clinic told me about this program targeted to first time mothers of low income status. The program involved a series of visits from a certified nurse who would come in and aide you when it came to pregnancy and the care of your newborn. I was skeptical and even though I told them I would try it out, I had made up my mind that I wouldn't do it.
I mean come on! Having a stranger come into my home to tell me what I was doing wrong or what I wasn't doing right didn't sound very appealing to me. Plus, I had seen this movie once about this visiting nurse who stole a lady's child after she drugged her, so I was scared lol.
They called me a few weeks after and explained the program to me, they said that they would send a nurse and that if I felt uncomfortable I could stop at any time. I thought about it and decided that one visit wouldn't hurt, plus it was free.
She called us and we set up an appointment. Ronald wasn't too pleased, he said it was a waste of time, I sort of agreed.
Stephanie came to our house, she was a very small pleasant lady. She explained what our visits would be like, she gave me some reading info and talked about my pregnancy. It was nice.
After she left, Ronald and I talked and we decided that this would be beneficial. She could be our in between doctor visits consultant, and we wouldn't feel so lost as first time parents if we had her around.
She came every week for a while, then every two weeks. Each time we would talk about the stages of pregnancy and the things I would be going through. She taught me so much, and for that I'm grateful, but it was more than that. She would also listen to me, about my life, about my goals, my dreams, my past, just my life. I felt important. Sure it was part of her job to make me feel important, but I truly believe in my heart that we were just important to her.
Time kept passing by and we kept getting closer to her. The once skeptical Ronald and Jeannette started to anxiously await her arrival like little kids waiting for their weekly trip to the candy store.
"Stephanie is coming today", I would say. "I know", Ronald would agree happily.
Luka was born and Stephanie was excited. When she got to see him for the first time it felt like she was a relative seeing her nephew or her god-son. It was beautiful.
Unfortunately good times sometimes come to an end and Stephanie will no longer be our home visiting nurse.
How? Why? Does it matter?
All I know is that I will no longer have those visits to look up to. I will no longer have that person to talk to about my silly accomplishments like when I decided to breastfeed my baby, or when I gave birth to him at 9lbs 6oz.
She celebrated every single one of those things and made me feel special.
Yes it's sad, it's like a part of our lives is coming to an end, but another is just beginning.
We gained a friend, a lifetime friend I hope.
This was decided long before she told us she would leave, we decided that once the program was over we would still keep her in our lives and in the life of our baby. We would invite her to birthday's outtings and anything else we could bring her along to.
So Stephanie, this post is dedicated to you, I know you're reading this, and I want you to know that you've got a special place in our hearts. I thank you deeply for teaching me and letting me teach you my own life lessons.
I dedicate this song to you.
It's called Jippy Jai. It talks about saying goodbye, but not for ever.
Lyrics in English
Why should we lose hope of seeing each other again,
Why should we lose hope of seeing each other again,
It's only a "see you later",
It's only a brief goodbye,
Goodbye, goodbye, I hope we meet again.
Singing hai, hai, hippi hippi hai
Singing hai, hai, hippi hippi hai
The light shines, the sun hides,
but the sun from the sky
will always shine
the warmth of our friendship.
It's only a "see you later",
It's only a brief goodbye,
Goodbye, goodbye, I hope we meet again.
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